Sunset's Keepin' Me Gold
by ketamine and ecstasy
Summary: A reflection.


**A/N This needs a lot of work, but constructive criticism will make it better. I do not own any part of this, I have simply created an image in my mind. Thanks for reading.**

Sunset's Keepin' Me Gold

Darry and Sodapop went out that afternoon. Darry was going to hang out with some of his friends from work, and Soda was going with Steve to the movies - picking up chicks, I think.

Soda asked me to come along, but I had this feeling that I wouldn't really enjoy myself, so I stayed home. I figured I'd read some books or do some homework or something productive like that.

I did my homework first. Homework was starting to get easy for me again. Even English was back up to a low "A".

When I was done, I laid on the bed in my room with some book Mr. Syme had said I might like - I didn't, I don't even remember its name - and I started to read the first chapter. I couldn't really get into it. It just wasn't clicking, you know? Sometimes you have to be in a certain mood to read a certain book - or even to read a book at all. I don't know which was the case then, but I was definitely too restless to read a book.

I decided to go outside and have a weed, and then maybe that would relax me.

When I got outside, I couldn't hear anything but the cars on nearby streets. I liked it when things got quiet like that. It was one of those things that didn't happen very often, so I liked it more when it did.

I listened to that quiet for a long time. I didn't even light my cig. The fresh air and silence was giving me the relaxation I was hoping to get from the cigarette. Darry would have been glad - I think he'd be pretty damn glad if I smoked less.

The cool air blew on my skin, and I shivered, but it wasn't that bad. It was like in the summer when you take a cold swim or a cold shower. It cleared my mind, and I started to think about bigger things. All I had really thought about for awhile was homework and being good so I didn't get stuck in a boys home. I didn't think about any of the stuff that had changed the way life was, just a couple months earlier.

Johnny came into my mind. Everything that had happened to us - to him. His dad beating him, him getting jumped by Soc's, him killing that kid to save _me_, running away, getting his back broken in that old church… all those things that shouldn't have happened to good ol' Johnny Cade.

I used to feel guilty, about Johnny dyin'. I mean, he was trying to save me from them Soc's that night we got jumped, and it was my idea to go in after those kids and rescue 'em and all. But I feel like it was all meant to happen or something, to teach the gang a lesson, I guess. Or maybe just to touch me a lesson. If it was just for me, I feel awful bad that the whole gang had to go through it. I mean, Darry and Soda had already lost Mom and Dad, and not to mention Dally - he was affected in the worst way out of all of us.

I realized, that Johnny and his whole experience taught me a lot that I needed to learn. He taught me about our way of life - the grease way. He taught me that whether you are, or whether you're not - a greaser will be dubbed a "hoodlum" and a Soc will be a "benefit to society".

He taught me that all you can do, as either, is your best. It's like, if you take offense to being called "hood", that's what you'll become after awhile. If you just roll with the punches and do good things - like saving those kids in the fire - it'll pay off. Johnny was going to turn himself in for murder when he saved those little kids, and even though he died, he was glad he did it, and glad that he knew there was some good - a chance for us to make a change. That - to me at least - showed that Johnny wasn't a hood, he just made mistakes. Like everybody else. But it's possible to fix some of 'em.

As I was thinking all this, I finally lit a weed. I guess I wasn't cutting back. I took a long drag, and closed my eyes as I did so. When I opened my eyes, I saw the crashing red, pink and orange in the sky. I loved the look of it - how it was all one, but you could make out each and every color up there. I figured that must be heaven. Maybe Johnny was showin' me heaven.

That made me think about the letter Johnny had left me, and what he said about being golden.

…_Like the way you dig sunsets, Pony. That's hold. Keep that way, it's a good way to be._

Johnny said that stayin' gold meant stayin' kid-like, noticing the things you don't notice when you get tough, or grow up. It was true, and there was more. The sunset up in the sky, it wasn't gold colored, but to look at it long enough, and to appreciate it, that made it gold. Appreciatin' what you got - that's gold.

"Pony, you out there?" I could hear Darry shouting from the inside the house. The sunset was nearly gone, so I turned toward the house.

"I'll be in in a second!" it was quiet again, 'cept for Darry taking off his boots and clattering around the kitchen.

I took one last look at the sunset, and finished my cig. I could hear Johnny talkin' to me, his soft voice filling my mind.

_Stay Gold, Ponyboy._

"I'll try, Johnnycake."


End file.
